Currently Reading Go Ask Alice By Anonymous see related

Ha... months later.

Things are not well. I'm failing 2 of my classes, still cutting, and still struggling with the ED shit. At least I'm down to 96 now. I don't know why but losing weight is so hard for me. Most people can fast for a few days and lost 2-3 lbs, easy. I take SO long to lose anything. It's really frusterating. yea.

Tommarow I'm starting at a different hospital. My mom found out about pretty much everything and this is the result. I'm really fucking pissed about it though because of all the people I've known who've gone to this program (and I've known a lot.) none of them have liked it, and the timing of it all is just really fucking dandy. Yeah, I haven't been going to school like I should be, but October is definitely the best part of the entire school year and I just hate the fact that I'm going to miss it all. Plus , some of my friends are REALLY not doing so well and I feel like if I'm not there for them they'll do something bad. Because I know for a fact that one of my best friends is feeling suicidal. It just really worrys me. A lot. I don't know. . .

On the bright side, (ha, bright...) I'm going to see MCR this friday , NIN on november 2nd, and having a Halloween party on , well halloween. So those will be fun. Right now I'm dying my bangs red and that is also good. yay.

I have a huge strange curiousity about LSD. I really want to try it. Is that bad? Probably. *shrugs*

Well, umm.... I don't even know what else to say really. I just felt like I should update this thing because I never do. And I still really like the site.  I have like 812347928 xangas though.... but o well. Once my hair is done maybe I'll post a picture on here.

I suppose that's it for now.

<3 <3 </3

P.S. Ville Valo  and  Marilyn Manson are GODS

Currently Listening What to Do When You Are Dead By Armor for Sleep remember to feel real see related

Sorry it's been so long. A lot of things have been going on. Thank you all for your comments . . . <3 They mean a lot. I'm not sure how much I'll keep up on this one , and the entries might be really spread apart in time because I have :

eightyfive_xx  <-- my mainly ED one

and

xQuiet_Roomx <-- my normal one.

and I dont get a lot of time to update all of them. I do like this one though so I'm gonna try.

--

Things have been mainly the same , if not worse. Downhill. Losing friends. Struggling but not getting anywhere with my ana problem. . . still stuck at fucking 100  , It never changes at all. Also of course still struggling with the cutting , although I havent been doing it as much and instead keeping everything inside (which isn't the best idea) because I have to go on vacation soon and I dont want to draw notice to myself. *shrugs* It's really irritating , but I guess no more irritating then everything else my shit life hands to me. O well , I'm gonna shut up because I'm being a whiner.

P.S. here's a picture of me just because.

( not taken in 2002 , my camera likes to play games. )

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QU

Currently Playing Dusk and Her Embrace By Cradle of Filth malice through the looking glass see related

mmm. . . the hospital thinks that I will be "ready for discharge into outpatient treatment" (ready to leave) by Friday of this coming week. Well , I WONT be ready , but I dont care , not really , not at all. I dont really care about anything. Is it wrong? I suppose it is. But I cannot feel if it is wrong or write ... I don't feel anything. Anything except for these damn cold emotions swimming around in me. I suppose I should be used to it by now. Will I ever be used to it ?

~sociopath~

Currently Playing A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish By My Ruin do you love me? see related

The hospital is going quite well. I started last friday. I do not like the new lady, Mary, though. She replaced Angie. Angie moved to a different hospital. Angie was better. She was more leniant and looked like an Elf when she wore green. It was pretty. Mary is very ruly. But life is definitely not always what you want. We got a new girl today. Her name is Hannah. She is a lesbian. She is in 8th grade. Shes pretty. Shes strange. I like her. Kira smoked in the bathroom today, too. Funny funny. I could never get away with that. Today though, they found out that I cut in the bathroom there, and were going to search my bags to see if I had my razor with me, so I panicked, and gave it to Kira, so they do not find anything. She is giving it to me tomorrow. And shes giving me a cigarette tomorrow too. Thank the fucking jesus. Heh. I need one real bad.

Vince likes Shana. That's good. I feel happy for her. She deserves it unlike anyone else. I hope that it works out between them. I saw Shana today. Her, Danielle, Megan and I went and saw Into the Woods at the school. It was fun. We saw John changing his clothes. Orgasm on a shiskabob.  Aah. David got a hair cut. It doesn't look as bad as everyone thinks it does. *shrugs* oyu enede otu tellg voret felsooy uterus. *sigh*

Tomorrow I am getting together with My baby. I'm excited. Hah, I stole some stuff to wear under my clothes at Kohls the other day... and i have this really pretty red velvet dress I am going to wear. We are going to go out to dinner and then go see the play (again). Then I am going over Diana's house to sleep over. I have never slept at her house before. It should be interesting.

Well, I will be off.

</3 uterus